The idea of ego death shows up across spirituality, psychology, myth, and religion, but most people approach it backwards. We try to force the ego away, reshape it, defeat it, or outgrow it, only to end up more tangled in it. What teachers like Alan Watts point to is something far more subtle: the ego falls away not through effort, but through insight. Below is a clear, cross cultural breakdown of how this paradox appears in ancient traditions, mysticism, and mythology, along with Watts classic explanation.
Waking Up - The Ego Death Paradox
Why You Can't Get Rid of Your Ego and That's the Point
"Well," you say to me then, "alright, how do I get rid of it?" My answer to that is: "That's the wrong question." How does what get rid of it? You can't get rid of your hallucination of being an ego by an activity of the ego. Sorry, but it can't be done. You can't lift yourself up by your own bootstraps, you can't put out fire with fire, and if you try to get rid of your ego with your ego, you'll just get into a vicious circle. You'll be like somebody who worries because they worry, and then worries because they worry because they worry. And you go round and round and get crazier than ever.
The first thing to understand, when you say "What can I do about getting rid of this false ego," is: the first answer is "Nothing." Because you're asking the wrong question. You're asking "How can I, thinking of myself as an ego, get rid of thinking of myself as an ego?" Well, obviously, you can't.
"No," you'll say, "then it's hopeless!" No, no, now wait a minute. Don't go so fast. It isn't hopeless. You haven't got the message, that's all. If you find out that your ego feeling, your will, and all that jazz, cannot get rid of that hallucination, you found out something very important.
In finding out that you can't do anything about it, what you have found out is that you don't exist, that is to say, you as ego, you don't exist. So obviously you can't do anything about it. So you find you can't control, not really, your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, all the processes going on inside you and outside you that are happening. There's nothing you can do about it.
So then, what follows? Well, there's only one thing that follows: you watch what's going on. You see, feel this whole thing happening, and then suddenly you find, to your amazement, that you can perfectly well get up, walk over to the table, pick up a glass of milk and drink it. There's nothing standing in your way for doing that. You can still act, you can still move, you can still go on in a rational way, but you've suddenly discovered that you're not what you thought you were.
You're not this ego pushing and shoving things inside a bag of skin. You feel yourself, now, in a new way, as the whole world, which includes your body, everything that you experience, is going along. It's intelligent. Trust it."
Alan Watts, "EGO, Essential Lectures, Program 2", 1972
🌿 The Core Insight
Watts points out that the desire to get rid of the ego is itself an egoic act. You cannot escape yourself by trying to. The very one trying to "get rid" of the ego is the ego. This paradox is not meant to frustrate. It's meant to awaken.
The moment you see this clearly, the illusion of separateness begins to dissolve on its own. You stop trying to perfect the self and instead witness life as it unfolds. In that surrender, a deeper intelligence begins to move.
🪞 Real Life Parallel: The Moment of Letting Go
Imagine trying to fall asleep by trying harder to sleep. The effort itself keeps you awake. Or trying to make someone love you by forcing yourself to be lovable. In both cases, effort defeats the purpose.
The solution comes when you stop trying, when you trust the process and allow it to happen naturally. That's what Watts means by "Trust it." You discover you are not the small "I" struggling to control life. You are life happening.
🕉️ Hinduism: The Dissolution of Ahamkara
In Hindu philosophy, the ego is called Ahamkara, the "I maker." The Bhagavad Gita teaches that liberation is not achieved by destroying the ego, but by seeing through it.
"The wise see that actions are performed by the gunas of nature, and that the self is not the doer."
Bhagavad Gita 3:27
The ego says, "I am doing this." Awareness says, "This is being done." When you realize life acts through you, not by you, the illusion of control dissolves naturally.
☸️ Buddhism: No Self (Anatta)
In Buddhism, the illusion of ego is the root of suffering. The Buddha taught not to destroy the self, but to observe its impermanence.
Through mindfulness, one sees that all thoughts and emotions arise and pass. The more you observe, the less you identify with them. Zen calls this kensho, seeing your true nature.
"The foolish reject what they see, not what they think. The wise reject what they think, not what they see."
Huang Po
✝️ Christianity: Not My Will, But Thine
Christian mysticism approaches ego through surrender. In Gethsemane, Jesus prays:
"Not my will, but Thine be done."
Luke 22:42
St. Paul expresses the same insight:
"It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me."
Galatians 2:20
Here, "Christ" symbolizes divine consciousness or the universal Self.
🕊️ Sufism: The Annihilation of the Self (Fana)
In Sufism, Fana refers to the dissolution of ego in divine love.
"Die before you die, and you will see that there is no death."
Rumi
When love becomes so vast that "you" are no longer separate from what you love, the ego fades quietly.
⚖️ Ancient Greece: Know Thyself
The Greeks warned that hubris leads to downfall. Socrates, knowing that he knew nothing, lived in a humility that cracked the ego illusion.
The Delphic maxim "Know Thyself" was never about self improvement, but seeing the limits of the self image.
🔥 Mythic Parallel: The Phoenix
The Phoenix does not fight its own destruction. It surrenders to the fire. Through that surrender, it is reborn from its own ashes. Ego death works the same way. Stop feeding the illusion and it burns away, revealing awareness.
One Truth - Many Paths
Unified Understanding of Waking Up
| Tradition | Key Concept | Paradox or Resolution |
|---|---|---|
| Hinduism | Ahamkara / Moksha | The "I" dissolves when seen as illusion. |
| Buddhism | Anatta / Nirvana | Liberation through non identification. |
| Christianity | Surrender to God | "Not I, but the Divine through me." |
| Sufism | Fana / Baqa | Ego dissolves in love, life continues. |
| Greek Wisdom | Hubris / Know Thyself | Self knowledge humbles and frees. |
| Watts | Trust the Whole | The ego cannot end itself. Awareness is enough. |
Final Reflection
You cannot try to wake up (that's the paradox). You can only see that there is no one asleep (that's the waking up). That insight, the clear seeing of the futility of getting rid of the ego, is awakening. Once you see it, life keeps moving, but now, as Watts says, "You feel yourself in a new way, as the whole world, intelligently happening."
